Being in a long-distance relationship isn’t easy. Anyone who has been in one knows the ache of missing that special someone’s hug or just spending a lazy afternoon together. But love doesn’t disappear just because you are miles apart. In fact, with the right effort, distance can make your bond even stronger and based more on mental and emotional connection, rather than physical attraction, which is strongest in person.
Long-distance relationships are more common today than ever before, thanks to the way the Internet has changed the way we meet and connect with others. Dating apps and online communities, social media, and gaming are all viable ways to build meaningful relationships across cities, countries, and even continents.
While the miles that separate might be tough, many couples are proving that love doesn’t need a shared zip code or even time zone. But most come with a few challenges.
Emotional Challenges that Can Arise
Long-distance relationships can bring up emotional and mental issues that you didn’t even know existed. In traditional relationships, you have the element of physical touch that can help sustain you when problems arise.
A hug, a loving glance, a hand squeeze can all help to sustain you when relationship (or life) issues arise. But in long-distance relationships, you don’t have the luxury of physical touch or the little things that help you communicate sympathy, empathy, and love non-verbally.
Long-distance relationships may bring out insecurity, fear of being abandoned, and other deeply felt emotions. These can be sparked by misreading texts or seeing your partner go quiet. And when these issues do arise, it’s easy to spiral because you don’t have physical access to your partner. You might wonder if they are upset, disinterested, or slipping away. It’s easy to overthink and misunderstand unreturned texts and empty inboxes.
Sometimes old wounds from past relationships or childhood traumas that you thought you were over can also surface during long-distance relationships. Past heartbreaks, trust issues, and past rejections can interfere with current relationships. They can cause you to question your worth and the quality of your words.
Those old wounds can undermine your present sense of security in the relationship, even if your partner has done nothing wrong. You may start filling in the blanks with worst-case scenarios and stories that aren’t rooted in reality but in old wounds that never fully healed.
Long distances have a way of spotlighting the cracks in your foundation. It’s not necessarily a sign that your relationship is unhealthy or doomed; it’s just that you are trying to build something strong without the usual tools.
Therapy to the Rescue
Long-distance relationships can bring to the surface suppressed insecurities in a way that traditional relationships can’t. But therapy can be a game changer. Not just couples therapy, although that can be powerful too, but individual counseling can help you untangle all the emotional knots that resurface when you’re waiting for a text reply that never comes or when you feel forgotten after a difficult day.
A good therapist can help you identify what’s going on underneath the obvious symptoms. Maybe you’re mad they didn’t call, but the underlying fear is that they won’t ever call again. Self-awareness that comes through therapy can change you and improve your relationship by giving you the language and the tools to stop reacting to old pain and to start responding to your current relationship with love and clarity.
Advantages of Long-Distance Love
Yes, long-distance relationships come with their own unique set of challenges. What relationship is free of obstacles? But if you and your partner both commit to personal, emotional, and spiritual growth and authenticity, long distances can become the conduit for deeper and more stable love. It can produce a relationship that is not built on convenience or proximity, but on true emotional integrity and authentic connection.
Distance forces you to communicate more intentionally, to be transparent with your feelings, and to work through issues without relying on distractions or physical closeness. In long-distance relationships, you learn how to be present in new ways, such as through words, thoughtful gestures, and emotional availability. These habits, once formed, can strengthen your bond for the long haul, even if you one day close the physical gap.
Sometimes the hardest things in life lead to the most beautiful outcomes. Maybe this long-distance love was appointed by your loving Heavenly Father as a blessing, and won’t this be a love story worth telling! It will be one shaped not by circumstance, but by design and choice.
Photos:
“Happy African American woman”, Courtesy of Getty, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
