Who would have thought that being a ray of sunshine would be problematic? While there isn’t anything inherently wrong with being an upbeat, positive, or glass-half-full kind of person, there are ways of doing this that can become an issue. Toxic positivity is a real issue that can affect you as an individual and your relationships as well. You need to be able to identify it and find ways to work through it.

Drawing The Line Under Toxic Positivity

Some people are always beaming, have something to be grateful for, and can always seem to show you the other, brighter side of a situation. This isn’t what it means to describe toxic positivity, though the recipient of such ministrations may find it annoying. Toxic positivity refers to something much more intense and insidious.

A person with toxic positivity will often excessively, and sometimes insincerely, put forward a positive attitude and encourage others to do the same. The issue with toxic positivity is that it often ends up being so extreme that it minimizes or outright ignores legitimate experiences and negative emotions. Some of the common characteristics of toxic positivity include the following:

Forced optimism Instead of allowing for genuine emotion and creating room for people to process their emotions, toxic positivity can often involve compelling or encouraging people to adopt a positive attitude even when it’s not genuine or appropriate.

Being dismissive of negative emotions When a person leans into toxic positivity, instead of acknowledging and validating them, they will typically dismiss or minimize people’s emotions, such as sadness, anger, or frustration.

Showing a lack of empathy It will often involve a lack of empathy or understanding for people who are struggling or experiencing difficult emotions and experiences.

Victim-blaming Another effect involves blaming someone for their circumstances rather than acknowledging the role of external factors or systemic issues that cause harm. In addition, it can overemphasize individual responsibility and personal agency while ignoring how structures and systems can present barriers for others.

Avoiding difficult conversations Life will often present you with challenging circumstances. Rather than confronting and addressing them, toxic positivity will typically involve avoiding difficult conversations or discussions of uncomfortable topics.

Offering superficial solutions Instead of going deep and acknowledging the complexity of an issue, it will often offer superficial solutions to complex problems, such as asking people to simply “choose happiness” or to be positive.

How It Can Be Harmful

A person who exudes toxic positivity may not intend harm; they may genuinely desire to help others face challenging circumstances. However, it is nonetheless harmful, primarily because it will often invalidate people’s emotions and experiences in the quest to be positive. It can also create an atmosphere in which one feels guilt or shame for not being positive enough.

Due to its superficiality and insistence on surface appearances, toxic positivity can also prevent people from confronting and addressing real problems with workable solutions. It can reinforce unhealthy situations by choosing to be blind to them and refusing to acknowledge challenges.

Working Through Toxic Positivity

The realization that you exhibit toxic positivity can be unsettling. For a believer, for instance, it can be difficult to reconcile their understanding of faith with the reality of hardship. However, it’s essential to become more self-aware of the tendency toward toxic positivity and to move toward healthier forms of communication.

A healthier, more authentic and balanced approach to positivity will acknowledge and validate the full range of human emotions, instead of compelling people to adopt an insincere and untruthful positive attitude, which is ultimately toxic.

It’s important to recognize the marks of toxic positivity, including dismissing negative emotions, lacking empathy toward others who are struggling, and overemphasizing positivity or good vibes. You can pinpoint its sources, including your relationships, your upbringing, unhealthy and unbalanced expressions of Christian faith, and social media.

When you recognize it in yourself or if it’s directed toward you, it’s important to validate your emotions as legitimate. A person prone to toxic positivity needs to grow in identifying how they’re feeling and accepting those emotions, whatever they happen to be. Instead of denying those emotions, it’s better to develop an awareness of them and learn how to better manage them.

It is also essential to nurture a more balanced perspective that allows you to embrace the good as well as the hard seasons of life. Sometimes we’re just not okay, and that’s the reality of living in our imperfect world. Despite this, you can practice gratitude without needing to suppress other feelings such as loss or sadness. It’s possible to reframe your thoughts to challenge negative self-talk without denying reality.

Christian Counseling in Redding, California

You don’t have to do this alone. You can seek support from people you trust, or from a mental health professional. A Christian counselor in Redding, California can help you identify the sources and roots of toxic positivity in your life, helping you nurture empathy toward others, showing you how to better manage difficult feelings, and helping you become more comfortable with experiencing and expressing complex emotions.

To learn more and to schedule an appointment with a Christian counselor in Redding, contact our office today at Redding Christian Counseling. Let us help you grow emotional health for life in a broken world.