While growing up, a lot of people dream of finding their “Mr.” or “Mrs. Right.” It is a common topic among single teens as it is something that TV shows or movies present as an “important” goal in life. And when adults, the usual questions many singles may hear from friends and relatives, particularly after a long period of singleness, include: Are you seeing anyone yet? Are there any prospects? When are you going to get married?
So for a good portion of adulthood, many are very concerned about finding their life partner. Unfortunately, because of such pressure, sometimes their pursuit ends up hurting other areas in their life.
But what if someone is struggling to find that special person in life? Or what if one has realized that marriage is not meant for them? Can one live a purpose-filled life even as a single? The answer to this final question is “yes”.
Singleness is also a Gift
But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. – 1 Corinthians 7:32-34
Society often focuses on married life since the family is its basic unit. Without a new generation of parents and children, there will literally be no tomorrow for the human race. However, because of this focus, many do not feel blessed when they are still single. Instead, they waste much of their time frantically searching, worrying, or moping about their partner-less life.
But a life of singleness – whether permanent or temporary – is also a gift. In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he mentioned that it is good to remain single if one is still unmarried or if one is a widow. This is because a person who is single can focus more of their time and effort to God rather than those with family responsibilities.
So though married life does have its own set of blessings that honor God, single life has its blessings too. This is something that should be understood and appreciated as everyone experiences being single at some point in their life.
Discovering Purpose as a Single
Many of life’s problems come about because of an untrained mind. The same is clearly true for those who resent their single status in life. The following are some areas in life that singles are blessed to have. By focusing on such, a person may begin to understand that there is purpose in being single.
One can focus even more on God
Whether one is married, in a relationship, or single, it is important to focus on God. As our loving Creator, everyone needs His wisdom, protection, and salvation. But even though married life is a necessary part of humanity and a loving family glorifies Him; those who are single have more opportunities to focus on God.
When one is maintaining a romantic relationship or raising a family, much time and energy are directed towards the needs of one’s partner and/or children. Because of this, time with God is often affected. Though loved ones should never be an excuse, many miss out on prayer time, daily bible reading, or Sunday worship because of family matters or the “needs” of their romantic partner.
But those who are single can dedicate even more time to the Lord. Daily devotional prayer, weekly prayer meetings, church service, and missionary work for His glory are some of the many things a single person can do without worrying about grossly neglecting loved ones. This is a special opportunity for those who are single to be salt and light to His Kingdom.
One has more opportunities for self-care
Another advantage of singleness is that there is more time for oneself. Those in a relationship, especially if there are children already, often have difficulty investing in their own care and needs. Since their priority is the happiness of their partner or the future of their children, there is much scrimping and personal sacrifice of wants just to ensure that the loved ones are taken care of.
Someone who is single, however, can devote more time and resources to what they need. This means they can exercise more regularly with the right equipment and spend a bit more on healthier food options. If mental health is an issue, those who are single can better afford professional help than those who still need to think about tuition and school allowances. And when stressed, time at the spa can be a go-to remedy rather than a luxury.
Those who are single may also indulge in more recreational activities than those with relational commitments. They can travel more often, even at a moment’s notice, unlike those who still need to budget and prepare for two or more people. Singleness also allows a person to pursue a variety of hobbies without worrying much about finances or the lack of quality time with others.
Moreover, sometimes it is those who are single that are better able to maintain a wider range of relationships with extended relatives and friends. Since they are free to be out and about, it is easier for them to schedule time with others, unlike their married counterparts.
One has more opportunities to serve
As earlier mentioned, singleness allows a person to give more time to serving God. Aside from duties at one’s local church, one can head several bible study groups and join other church-related activities (evangelical missions, fund raisers, prayer rallies).
But even in the secular world, single life allows the person to commit to helping the community even more. Because they do not have to worry about family responsibilities, the person is free to volunteer in a local charity where they can enhance their other talents while being a blessing to a wider group of people.
Career-wise, sometimes it is the blessed single who is better able to go the extra mile for their clients as they do not need to reach home at a specific time. And in certain public oriented jobs – such as emergency responders, military, police, and even public officials; one who is single can commit their all to what they do without fear of jeopardizing their family’s safety or future.
One can enjoy a simpler life
In married life, there is often a feeling of always trying to reach that next level for the sake of the family. As the kids grow older, there is a need for a larger car, more room in the house, more money for education, and even more food on the table. Even if a couple is childless, there is still the challenge of keeping the romance alive, which may also entail weekly dates, monthly getaways, and yearly vacations in different parts of the world.
But those who are single have the chance of a simpler lifestyle if they so choose it. As they control their time and resources, they may opt to spend less so that they can bless even more. They also do not have to agonize over the things that married people have to deal with (toddler tantrums, the teenage years). Although friends and other family members may still affect the person’s decisions to an extent, there is still much more freedom to live the life one wishes compared to someone in a relationship.
The Need for Contentment
Despite the many advantages, many singles often find that they are just “waiting” instead of truly living life. The key here is contentment. The single person must focus on the good things they have and stop thinking about the “what ifs?” in life. The grass is not always greener on the other side as many married people can attest to.
Christian Counseling for the Single Life
By viewing the single life from a more positive angle, a person can truly enjoy much of what life has to offer and can possibly be a blessing to a wider group of people than someone who is focused on their immediate family. But not all singles are able to see life from this perspective, even when they try. In such a situation, it may be necessary to seek Christian counseling.
In Christian counseling, the latest in therapeutic techniques will be applied to help the person retrain their mind so they can overcome the common view that marriage is an essential part of everyone’s life. And if the person is currently suffering from mental issues (anxiety, depression) because of their single status, the Christian counselor can greatly help them.
But more importantly, the faith-based counselor will introduce the person to God’s unfailing love through Jesus Christ. Many times it is difficult for singles to accept their circumstances because their hope in life is anchored on the idea of a romantic partner “completing” them.
Little do they know that Christ is enough for them to be “complete.” Through prayer, meditation on Holy Scripture, the clarification of the Gospel, and what the Bible says about Christ, a person may finally realize that they are already being blessed by God even if they are single.
If you or a friend are always fretting about the single life, seek Christian counseling soon. It is God and no one else who can give a person the inner peace that they are looking for.
“Stressed Out”, Courtesy of Christian Erfurt, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Hiking”, Courtesy of Free-Photos, Pixabay.com, CC0 License; “A Single Leaf,” Courtesy of Shaunne Thomas, Flickr.com, CC BY 2.0 License; “Contemplating the Word”, Courtesy of Pexels, Pixabay.com, CC0 License