It feels like something is off in your marriage. You are not 100% sure what it is, but things aren’t adding up. You have a sick feeling in your stomach.

Is your spouse cheating on you?

Infidelity is one of the most heartbreaking events in a marriage, and many marriages cannot withstand the loss of trust. Do you know the signs of infidelity?

Signs of Infidelity

There can always be plausible explanations for behavior that seems off for a person and does not necessarily mean they are having an affair. For example, your husband seems disinterested in sex but will not tell you why. The reason might not be infidelity but a physical condition that he is embarrassed to talk about with you.

As you read through the signs of infidelity, keep an open mind. Several signs may point to infidelity.

Your Gut Says Something is Off

Often, the first clue that your spouse is cheating is the gut feeling that something is wrong – the feeling that your spouse is slipping away from you. If you do not have proof, you may chalk it up to an overactive imagination. You may also fall for your spouse’s gaslighting as you question them. Not all gut feelings are imagined.

Emotional Intimacy Is a Thing of the Past

One of the signs of infidelity is the lack of emotional intimacy. Even if you are still having sex regularly, you might notice that the emotional connection is gone. Emotional intimacy is what pulls you together and remains many years later when you can no longer be sexually active.

Your spouse may no longer communicate with you if they are cheating because they are confiding in someone else. This can lead to an emotional affair (with or without the physical act of sex).

Your Spouse Seems to Be Picking Fights Frequently

Your spouse is lashing out and picking fights about mundane things or perceived offenses. They may blame you for why they cannot be around you. They may tell others lies or half-truths so those people will understand why they have to cheat on you. They rationalize that if enough people think there is something wrong in the marriage, then they might support your spouse’s cheating.

Your Spouse Accuses You of Cheating

Your spouse may project their own guilt onto you by accusing you of cheating. If infidelity is not in your character, you might rush to prove that you would never cheat. This gives your spouse some relief that while they are having an affair, you are in the background as the safety net. When you turn the tables and point out that you believe they are projecting, they may become defensive and angry.

Your Spouse is Overprotective About the Phone and Devices

Your spouse may guard their phone, computer, and other devices, setting up passwords and lock screens. They may have an excuse for doing so, such as a work requirement or not wanting the kids to play on it. They may also take their phone out of the room to make a call or look around when they receive a text message. They may become angry if you ask to see their phone or device.

Your Spouse’s Schedule and Routine Changes

If your spouse’s schedule or routine changes, it may be one of the signs of infidelity. They may claim they have an appointment, need to talk to someone about a job, visit family, or go shopping alone. They may work overtime outside the home, but you do not see a difference in the income. If they are salary, they may work later than usual or take business trips, perhaps overnight or over the weekend.

Your Sex Life Changes

If your spouse is having an affair, your sex life may change. It may not necessarily drop off. In some cases, the spouse overcompensates for their behavior by increasing sex at home, hoping that you will not realize anything is amiss.

They may spend time with you, giving you gifts or making your favorite meal to keep you from suspecting them of cheating. If your sex life changes or your spouse is complaining of not enough sex, but you know that it is an average amount, they might be having an affair.

Do You Recognize Any Signs of Infidelity and Need Help?

If the signs of infidelity sound familiar to you, seek help. A third party, such as a counselor, can mediate between you and your spouse. If the two of you decide to work things out and rebuild the marriage after infidelity, a counselor can help you with emotional intimacy, trust, and overcoming negative thoughts.

Contact our office today to schedule a session with a marriage counselor.

Photos:
“A bus driving”, Courtesy of Jithin Vijayamohanan, Unsplash.com, CC0 License

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